"The reader collectively recognizes her plea to steer from
self-pity mode, even though Lucy's story stirs the reader with compassion for the
author."
Yes, this sentence is wordy and a bit recursive.
You've got reader, Lucy, and author, two of which are implicit (reader and author), so
I would focus on Lucy entirely. I don't know the story or context and a few of the
pronouns are vague, but here goes:
1. First, I would get
rid of "reader" and "author" and "collectively." We all know there's an author and
readers. That's obligatory. Are readers all reading and recognizing her plea together?
I don't think so. It's unnecessary.
2. "Her plea" needs
an object or indirect object, or both. To steer what? Herself? Her emotions? Her
thoughts? What is being steered?
3. Steering toward what?
Compassion? Empathy? Sympathy?
4. Who's plea is it?
Her own?
5. To whom is she plea-ing? The reader, the
author, another character.
6. I don't like the last part
of the sentence. It seems extra or redundant. I would omit
it.
Now, we're left with something like
this:
"Lucy's plea to [John in chapter 3?] helps steer her
emotions from self-pity to compassion."
Much simpler and
focused.
Good luck....
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