Please crush my self-esteem and critique this poem? (:Seriously, I'm posting it in a poetry workshop (in the 'general' section but still) to be...

First, I have published some poetry as well, and I always
try to ignore the "rules" and traditions and write in the style I want to, in the format
that feels right for the topic or piece I'm working on.  So keep in mind, whether it's
feedback you receive here or in your poetry workshop, it's constructive criticism, and
you can take it or leave it.  Stay true to your
poem.

Secondly, when I do choose a format or style to write
the poem in, I try to stay consistent to that style throughout.  If my stanzas are
short, or a particular number of lines, I try to craft the rest of the poem to fit what
I've started.  Notice how your poem does that pretty well for the three stanzas - 6
lines, 7 lines, 6 lines.  You might try playing around with how you separate and place
the lines to achieve a better rhythm when read.

Personally,
I like the "Asphyxiation" stanza the best, especially this
line:

readability="9">

When a man's reputation
is
his oxygen, it's too easy
to collect private bedroom
utterances,
publicize, and lodge them in the back
of his
throat.

I found
myself wishing I had written it, so well done.  And the last line is a powerhouse one, a
great final punch to the idea.  You might consider taking that line and leaving it by
itself at the very bottom to add some extra emphasis to
it.

Nice job and keep
writing.

The poet Raymond Carver grew up and wrote in my
hometown here in Washington State, and I don't know how familiar you are with his work,
but some of your lines remind me of his.  I've added a link to a very good biography of
him.