I'm going to agree with the red notes. My advice is to cut this paragraph down to about 4 sentences if possible. Also - I'm personally over the whole "one" and "oneself" over just saying "person" and "him." Don't get me wrong, I did it too - and now I just hate it. I've found that in writing, even formal writing, saying exactly what you mean is usually best.
As for the above paragraph, the entire middle section is almost impossible to understand, which makes me question if it is even necessary. Perhaps something is necessary, but not this. Here's a start (you need to answer the questions at the end):
People are neither physically nor verbally free to express themselves in a typical society. Society imposes limits on freedom of expression. These limits include criticism, oppression, and an expectation to meet arbitrary standards conceived through a variety of differing opinions. "The Story of an Hour" [does what? confirms these imposed limits? Breaks free of them? Epitomizes them and therefore fails?...]
The final sentence is clearly your thesis. You cannot say "this paper" when writing a paper. What will you assess about "The Story of an Hour"?? Just say that.
Hope that helps.
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